Season 3 Retrospective

That was rough.

Seriously, I feel like this season took forever.  Like I was being punished for something.  I realize that I started this dumbass endeavor and can stop at anytime, but this season was so long and so pointless.  It hurt.


Obviously, the big story of this season was the love triangle of Dawson, Pacey and Joey that Dawson inadvertently set into motion when he asked Pacey to keep an eye on Joey while he tried to figure his shit out.  Okay, I can go along with that.  But dragging it out for 20 episodes was a slough.  Not to mention the five or six episodes where Joey needed to figure out her feelings for Pacey after finding out how she felt.

“Waaaaaaaaaah, I don’t know what to do!”

Six episodes of that.



Listen, I realize that Dawson and his stupid feelings needed to be taken into consideration, but if anyone thought for a second that he would take this news like a rational adult, they should pound a tack hammer into their skull.  Dawson is a selfish baby who paints himself as a hopeless romantic, but in reality, is a sociopath who has no problem manipulating his friends for his own means.

After finding out for the, what, third time that he may not be a competent filmmaker, what does he do?  Tears down all his posters and asks his friends to pause their lives while he figures out how to go forward.  Granted, I loved watching him get eviscerated, but it was short lived.  But again, what did he expect to happen?  How many times does Joey have to break up with him before he’ll figure out that they’re NOT actually meant to be together?


I think one of the biggest things that bothered me about the Pacey/Joey story line was that it was basically some kind of war of attrition or Stockholm Syndrome.  Joey and Pacey have always hated each other and now I’m supposed to believe that after buying a fucking boat and taking dance lessons, Joey is all set to go out with him?  Or worse, she’s his rebound from his psychotic ex-girlfriend banging another dude while getting her head straightened out.  None of these are good lessons on love.

And then there were the pointless stories.  So many pointless stories that ultimately went nowhere.  Want me to run off a few of them for you?  Of course you do.


Hey, remember when Jen had a sister?  Her name was Eve and she tried to give Dawson a blowjob on a boat.  That’s a brave boy right there, what with the motion of the waves and teeth and everything.  But anyway, we find out that Jen has a sister and literally nothing happened with that news, short of everyone having a kind of shitty Thanksgiving.  If they weren’t going to do anything with that information, then why the fuck make her sister Eve anyway?  They could have just said, “Oh yeah, you have a sister.  Her name is Blanche, B T dubs,” and it would have had the exact same impact on the story.  None.

Or how about that time that the principal did his fucking job and got fired for it?  That was inane, and not just because of Joey’s stupid activism that would never happen in reality.  Teenagers are lazy as shit.


God, I loved that badass Caulfield, though.

So the principal gets fired and…that’s it.  It was just treading water.  How the hell did this show get three more seasons?

I don’t care enough to list off anymore stupid story lines.

Okay, one more.

Witch Island.  Now you could make the argument that this video would go on to spawn Dawson’s existential crisis, what with a bunch of snooty college film geeks shredding it and him, but honestly, what were they going for here?  Hadn’t The Blair Witch Project been out for years by this point?  That’s super topical.  But the whole episode was pointless apart from that.


And I know that we’re supposed to be all concerned about Dawson and Pacey’s friendship, but seriously, why would you even want to be Dawson’s friend at this point?  The dude tried to kill you, not to mention destroy a boat that you’ve worked on for months, all to make himself feel better about a chain of events that he set into motion.  It’s hypocritical, and your better off.

I’m sure this was in part due to a budget increase, but obviously the newest character this season was Henry.  Weird, clingy Henry.



Honestly, why did the writers make him so strange.  He definitely acted nothing like a 14 year old.  He was bizarre in pretty much every facet of his character.  You’re not allowed to act mortified that your mom hired a clown for your birthday when your girlfriend just caught you having a blast beating the shit out of a pinata.


And I don’t care how shitty your football team is, a freshman will never be starting quarterback.  Ever.  Oh, but at least they had the kooky idea to dress in drag to win a game and not in any way draw even more attention to their gay teammate.

And let’s talk about Jack for a second.  What the hell is his deal?  Is he gay?  Is he just pretending?  Does he have some kind of weird affinity for dudes who camp in trees?


They’ve spent so much time now dicking Jack’s sexuality around that it’s borderline insulting.  Sure, he’s struggling with his identity.  I get that, and know that it happens in the real world, but every time he gets called on to do something “gay”, he freezes up and starts crying.  It’s so over-the-top that it’s almost like the dude that played Jack just didn’t want to actually do anything gay, so the writers were forced to make his character a baby.


Obviously the biggest thing that happened this season (no, Joey and Pacey don’t fucking count) was that we finally learned where the Dawson cry face meme came from.


In philosophy, the meaning of life is to find the meaning of life.  That is, if you actually find out what the meaning of life is, then your life has no meaning because you’ve already achieved the ultimate goal.

That’s how the Dawson cry face discovery feels.  It’s a bit cathartic, because that was a huge question mark, and now that I have the answer (and it didn’t disappoint), I don’t really know what the point is of this dumb endeavor.  I mean, I’ll keep doing it for my 5 readers a week, but it really will only keep happening because it’s a goal of mine to see this fucking show through.


So, Season 3, we’re at a close, and not a moment too soon.  You drug on so long that I honestly feel like it’s been a year since the premiere.  Not a good look for any show when people are exhausted watching it, and not because they’re enjoying it or on the edge of their seats.  This season drug on and on, painfully, and I really hope that the next season is better.  I can’t do another boring-ass season like this, where everything is just consistently rehashed and nothing happens.  Or, things happen and are promptly forgotten, like plot is difficult.


I’m taking a week off.  Possibly two, because I have an out-of-town wedding and I’m just not ready to jump back into this.  But I’ll be back.


Season Rating

Crying Dawson Scale

3.5 out of 5 Mourning Dawsons


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