You guys, this episode is super important. And not just because it’s the season finale, to which I say:
So it looks like Bro Dad and Gail are getting remarried, and, in what may be the most pathetic inference on the series so far, Joey is Gail’s maid of honor. Seriously, Gail, don’t you have any friends your age? Dawson is Bro Dad’s best man, of course. Dawson mentions to Joey that this arrangement could make things awkward between them and Joey tells him that it’s only awkward if they make it awkward. Alright, so it’s probably going to be awkward then.
Pacey is prepping to leave on his sailing trip, which is most likely going to end with his demise. Dougie, who’s really racking up the onscreen hours lately, tells Pacey that he really thinks he needs to tell Joey how he feels. I’m getting annoyed, because she KNOWS how he feels. We’ve covered it. Dozens of times by now. What more can he say at this point? Dougie keeps pushing him to open up to her, psychoanalyzing that Pacey is really taking this trip to run away from her. Deep.
Jen thinks that Jack is super bitter about Ethan blowing up his spot. He denies, as does Jen in regards to her bitter breakup with Henry. On cue, Henry shows up and Jen acts super immature, talking to Henry through Jack. Henry mirrors this childish behavior and Jack gives them both shit for acting like a bunch of kids. Henry decides to be direct with Jen and tells her that he’s sorry. So is she. Sorry that they ever met. BOOM! Jesus, that’s rough. I kind of feel bad for Henry. He’s not sorry they met, and the scene finishes with Jen acting like an adult and giving Henry the cold shoulder.
Be weirder, Henry.
Seriously, Gail and Bro Dad are hosting a legit wedding. Andi shows up at Dawson’s with her yearbook (of course she’s that girl) and asks him to sign a page she’s marked, which has a picture of Dawson and Pacey. She mentions a send off dinner for Pacey and Dawson tells her he can’t make it because of the rehearsal dinner, which is a reasonable excuse. She asks how long they’re going to freeze each other out and Dawson tells her that Pacey’s bitch ass has to make the first move. Andi tells Dawson that she’s been hurt in all this too, but at least she’s trying to get over the pain.
Dougie, in an absolute abuse of power, pulls Joey over for going five miles under the speed limit. He didn’t even use a radar gun; just an “ocular observation”. Seriously, I’m never going to The Creek. Total ignorance or abuse of power by law enforcement. Anyway, he tells Joey about Pacey leaving and she seems nonplussed. Honestly though, it could just be Katie Holmes’ stellar acting.
Having heard the news, Joey confronts Pacey and tells him he’s being immature. Pacey fires back that he can’t sit around all summer and watch Dawson and Joey revive their relationship. He tells her that she knows where he stands and that it’s ultimately her decision now. She needs time, you guys! I’m so glad this season is over. It’s been like four episodes of “I need time! Don’t make me choose!”. She thinks that he’s giving up and he relates their relationship to her stupid wall, in that it’s unfinished.
Dawson hasn’t finished his best man speech, prompting Joey to make some cynical comments about love, which for some reason turns Dawson into a huge dick. He acts all butt hurt and starts guilting her for wanting to attend Pacey’s send off party. Take a chill pill, man. Honestly, outbursts like that aren’t going to endear her to you. He goes on and on, bitching about how she’s making him feel like she’s stuck with him, and tells her to go to Pacey. She decides to stay, because girls love falling for the asshole.
For some reason, Grams is at Pacey’s going away. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen those two in a scene together, but okay. Everyone is bitchy about their love lives circling the drains and Grams tells them to shut the fuck up. She starts telling them the story of how she didn’t kiss a guy, then got on a plane, flew to him and kissed him, and how she has no regrets or some shit. Everyone is touched.
Joey is hanging on the docks when Dawson approaches, waving a white flag. Neither of them want to fight, which causes Joey to explain to him that she broke things off with Pacey because she didn’t want to lose Dawson, but if she somehow knew that he’d forgive her, she might have done things differently.
Grams’ little story gave Jen a case of the sads because she realized that she wasn’t honest with Henry, who’s left for football camp now. Grams whips the car around and tells her it’s time for an adventure. Gigolos?
Joey is walking through town and finds that Pacey painted “ASK ME TO STAY” on her stupid wall. That’s kind of a dicked move. “Hey, I really like you. Here’s a gift to show it that I’m totally going to ruin”. He comes up behind her and tells her that she was right and that he’s not ready to give up, but needs to know she isn’t giving up either. Acting all cool, he leaves her to think about it.
So we get to the wedding and Dawson and Joey seem moved by the vows. I can’t hear them because there’s no audio. I’m not complaining. Pacey is there, which doesn’t seem like the best idea, given that even Bro Dad kind of wants to kick his ass.
So Grams is still driving. It seriously has to be the next day by now, right? Oh, and Andi and Jack are still in the back seat? Their dad is probably fucking pissed. They find Henry’s bus at a rest stop and Jen starts acting all spastic, screeching Henry’s name. When she finds him, she babbles on about how she’s supposed to be with him and totally wanted to bone him after prom, but was nervous. I should mention she’s saying all this in front of the entire football team and her fucking grandmother, which should be mortifying, but Henry also had a clown at his birthday party with his teammates, so I’m pretty sure he’s incapable of shame. They start making out in front of everyone, and I’m surprised she didn’t give him a handie, given how desperate she’s acting.
Pacey, still at the wedding, is sulking. If you’re miserable, just leave! Why are you there!? Joey approaches and tells him that she can’t ask him to stay, which means that she made her choice in regards to him. He tells her that she should have made that decision months ago and saved everyone a lot of heartache. You know, when she had no idea how he felt for her. Makes sense. Being fully guilted, she tells him goodbye.
After she leaves, Dawson comes out and asks the very question I’ve been wondering; why is Pacey there? It was for Dawson’s parents. He smugly congratulates Dawson on being Joey’s choice and remarks that things will never be the same between the two of them. Dawson agrees that their friendship is irrevocably fucked.
Everyone is all giddy for Jen, who’s super happy she told Henry how she felt. Grams then suggests hitting up Ethan’s college so that Jack can get his, which of course makes Jack super nervous.
Dawson and Joey are dancing, and he comments on how he can’t read Joey anymore. This makes Joey start babbling on about how it’s summer and the two of them are going to have so much fun and are going to catch up, including taking a trip to Boston. Dawson’s all, “Uhhh, yeah sure, weirdo”, and Joey starts crying.
There’s your awkwardness!
Jack finds Ethan at his school and sputters on and on, finally kissing him. Only Ethan stops him, because he’s sitting with a dude named Brad. Oh shit. Brad is Ethan’s ex-boyfriend. Only not anymore. He’s Ethan’s boyfriend! What a fucking twist! Seriously though, Ethan wasted no time there. He starts making excuses and Jack tells him to shut the fuck up. Ethan apologizes. It is kind of your fault there, Jack. You needed to nut up (no pun intended) ages ago and figure your shit out.
Dawson is giving his speech, which is all about himself, because of course it is. He’s glad to be at the current wedding since he couldn’t be at their first. He makes some mention of how his parents getting back together illustrated that love is forgiveness, which moves Joey.
It’s cool, I’m only 17.
On the docks, Joey approaches Dawson and tells him she liked his speech. He tells her he meant every word, and that she needs to go, because his selfishness has held her back in the past. He starts to get all emotional, telling her she needs to find out for herself what could happen with Pacey, because she wants him like Dawson wants her, only Pacey reciprocates those sentiments.
Hang on here, something about this scene seems familiar…
Joey starts crying about how she doesn’t want Dawson to hate her and he tells her that those are just words and that she’s free and needs to go. The whole scene reminds me of the ending of Harry and the Hendersons. It also feels so familiar…
HOLY SHIT, IT FINALLY HAPPENED! WE HAVE THE DAWSON CRY FACE!
Oh my God, I’m so happy right now.
Mr. McPhee tells Jack that he’s concerned about him. Not because he was missing for two days or anything, but because Jack is acting sad. The scene gets uncomfortable because Jack starts trying to pick a fight with his dad for no reason. However, we’re treated to a genuine moment of kindness from Mr. McPhee when he tells Jack that he did the right thing, causing Jack to collapse.
Seriously, everyone is collapsing this episode. Must be an oxygen deficiency or something in The Creek. Jack starts crying about how he’s had so much anxiety about being gay and wishes that he wasn’t, and Mr. McPhee is genuinely nice again when he tells Jack he’s glad he has a gay son.
Dawson is naturally moping around his house, and finds Andi, Jack and Jen just chilling in his room. What exactly is the timeline here? Because the wedding may have just ended and those three just got home, and literally one scene ago Jack was crying in his dad’s arms. Jen makes some meta comment about how cheesy this stupid show is by relating it to what’s going on Dawson’s life, and he agrees to stay and watch movies with them. You know, in his room. We’re treated to another shot of that stupid painting of he and Joey as kids.
Terrible. Just awful.
Joey is looking for Pacey at his boat, but he isn’t there. He comes up and she tells him that she isn’t there to stop him, and that she’s noticed how he’s been different. Pacey is still understandably pretty salty about how everything has gone down. Joey admits that she thinks she’s in love with him and that she’s know for a while, but that she can’t deny it anymore. Thank fucking God this storyline can move on now, right, you guys? She wants to go with Pacey on his boating trip because she needs him. Wow, way to go full on dependent in 30 seconds. He agrees that she can come and they kiss.
Wait, she’s really going on his trip with him? She doesn’t have any clothes or…anything. Does Bessie know that she’s leaving? What about money? If they both die at sea, what inane story will we get next season?
3.5 out of 5 Crying Dawsons