Okay, so I’ve been on vacation and need to be caught up here on what happened…
So these two idiots are back together, I guess. I feel like it took them two episodes to define their relationship earlier in the season, so it looks like I could be waiting a while to know for sure. I’ll sit with bated breath, I assure you. They’re kissing outside his window ladder and Dawson invites her in for some post-wedding hormone release. I’m pretty sure as she’s climbing the ladder he checks out her ass. They’re so in revisited love with one another that they fail to notice that Jen’s sitting in the dark in his room, acting all catatonic and crying (can you do both?). They finally get their lips off of each other long enough to ask what’s wrong, and she exclaims that “Abby’s dead”. Oh no!
Joey’s looking through some photos of her and mom, a lone tear trailing down her face because that’s probably the extent to which she can emote. Mr. Potter comes out and asks her why she’s looking through old albums, like it’s weird or something, and Joey explains that Abby’s death reminds her of her mom because, you know, they’re dead and stuff. Her dad tries to connect with her and console her, but fuck him; she’s totally cold to him anyway.
As Jen walks down the hallway at school, it’s pretty apparent that everyone knows she let Abby die. Or was there when she died. I don’t know, you guys, I’m not there!
Anyway, a grief counselor has been called in and why are Pacey and Andi there? That’s…odd. I’m sure it will be shittily explained away in some plot device. When the counselor asks Jen if she’d like to talk, Jen just sits there quietly, so Andi, being Andi, pipes up about Abby’s “vibrance” and how she always seemed so alive. Except for now. Either way, Jen sees right through Andi’s bullshit and leaves in a huff. But seriously, Pacey and Andi hated Abby. Why are they there?
Joey wants to talk to Dawson about their relationship, and Dawson appropriately tells her that it’s probably poor timing. Since Joey is a selfish bitch, she tells Dawson that she never really liked Abby and doesn’t really give a shit that she’s dead. No seriously, she says it like it’s a joke. Dawson asks what her deal is and Joey reveals that since her mom died, she hasn’t been to her grave. She’s still totally clinging to this alternate reality where she’ll come home and her mom will be there, and seeing a tombstone will undo that idyllic dream. Dawson, clearly seeing that she needs some kind of therapy, tells her she needs to let go, and she counters that he just doesn’t get it.
Andi finds Jen in the bathroom and she’s super pissed that everyone suddenly seems to care that Abby is dead. Abby was a bitch and people totes need to acknowledge that; not pretend she’s something she’s not! She goes on about how that would’ve pissed Abby right the fuck off and then switches gears and tells Andi that it’s all her fault Abby’s dead. If she hadn’t kicked them out of the fucking wedding they wouldn’t have made irresponsible decisions to get shitfaced above open water! Andi is rightfully upset.
Gail asks Dawson how he’s doing and he realizes that people are being fucking weird about Abby’s death, what with her being a raging whore and all. Gail doesn’t really listen and tells him that she has some news; her piece on teenage girls from a few episodes back won an award and she’s been offered a job in Philadelphia. Dawson, ever focused on himself, tells her he doesn’t want to move to Philly and she gets that, what with him having two years of school left. She’s kicking around the idea of just dumping him with Bro Dad instead. Dawson’s all “Oh yeah, Bro Dad! What’s he going to say about this?”, and Gail tells him that she doesn’t see the point in sticking around if he doesn’t give a shit. Fair enough. Go get you some Philly phallus!
Grams tries to console Jen, quipping that she always felt like Abby was mocking her. Jen, having no sense of emotional preservation in others, confirms that Abby was, in fact, doing exactly that. Grams tells Jen that she’s sorry about what happened, but that Jen can take solace knowing that God had a plan for Abby. To drown? Jen tells Grams that she doesn’t have time for that shit.
Andi is explaining Jen’s accusation to Pacey, who’s just appalled that she could say that. This does nothing to make her feel any better. As they talk, Abby’s mother walks in, and immediately recognizes Andi from that time that she drove her home after the all-nighter with Gail that still seems strange to me. She remarks that Andi was Abby’s friend and asks her if she’ll do a eulogy at Abby’s funeral. Andi accepts, and immediately realizes the gravity of what she just accepted. Oops!
Ha! We get this dramatic scene in which Jen is drinking on the docks where Abby fell into the water. It’s been turned into a memorial to that bitch Abby, and in her drunken stupor, she hurls some of the memorial flowers into the water. The whole scene is really funny.
Andi is rightfully freaking out about doing the eulogy and decides to go to Abby’s house. You see, she wants to see Abby’s room to get some perspective on her life, which isn’t weird at all. So, they legit just waltz into Abby’s house like they own the joint and make a beeline to her room. Pacey remarks how creepy this is, because he’s not retarded, and Andi just blows him off. She finds her diary and waxes about how that will be the best way to get insight, except all the entries are super cunty, including those about Andi. Pacey finally manages to get her to stop being a socially inept weirdo when she finds an entry about him.
Dawson finds Bro Dad at school, who makes some clichéd remarks about the nature of death. Dawson, apparently from the Joey Potter School of Thought Regarding Those Who Died That You Don’t Care About completely changes the subject and tells Bro Dad about Gail’s job offer. Bro Dad seems taken aback and tells Dawson he’s going to call and congratulate her. Dawson decides this is the perfect time to throw shade at Bro Dad and makes a snide remark about losing someone you care about and leaves.
Jack sees Joey at work and asks her what the deal is between her and Dawson. She tells him it’s nothing and they change the subject to Abby’s death. Jack feels really weird being Abby’s last kiss, and Joey continues to be a bitch, making a joke about how at least Abby went “out with a bang”. Jesus, Joey. You need some sensitivity coaching or lessons in tact.
Pacey pops into Dawson’s room, finding him watching some of Abby’s footage from Cornball Movie 2: This Bitch is Dead and tells Dawson that he’s frustrated about the eulogy. Andi’s freaking out is making him feel like he’s losing control. Dawson, being the great friend he is, lets that go in one ear and right out the other and starts selfishly talking about how weird it is to have filmed a dead bitch for his dumb movie.
Meanwhile in Drunkville, Jen is a fucking mess when she shows back up at Grams’. Grams tells her that she needs to address her feelings, not drown them in alcohol and brings it back to trusting in God and Jen flips the fuck out and tells Grams that there is no God! Why the fuck can’t you get that through your head, Grams! Grams tells Jen that she’s had enough of her shit and Jen tells her that Grams is totes stifling who she is as a person and is moving out. Escalation!
Joey breaks the awkward silence during breakfast to tell her dad that she can’t remember her mom. Her dad is touched by her senility and gives this dopey speech about how Joey is funny (since when?) and that she will always remember her mom, because she lives on in Joey.
Pacey once again tries to talk Andi out of doing the eulogy because she’s turning him into a basket case, for some reason. Andi tells him she can’t lie, and that this eulogy is her way of showing everyone that she can take something on without having a nervous breakdown or some shit. I don’t know. It honestly doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
Anyway, we arrive at the funeral and Andi reminds Pacey that she’s going to embarrass him. Joey shows up, which is odd given how much she’s seemed to be reveling in Abby’s death. Jen’s there too, obvs, and Grams sits down next to her. She tells Jen she forgives her and Jen tells her that she doesn’t give a shit. All she wants is some understanding, which has become abundantly clear is something that Grams is incapable of providing.
The priest asks if anyone would love to say something about Abby. At first, no one makes a move until Abby’s mom tearfully looks around. Finally, Jen approaches the podium and holy shit, does she go off. She starts right off by calling Abby a toxic personality and just proceeds to absolutely shit all over her while everyone looks around awkwardly. Then, Jen takes God to task, saying that if Abby was created in God’s image, he must have been a real piece of shit too. She uses this to segue into a tirade about God and how it’s absolute bullshit that they’re having a funeral in a church, because Abby vehemently didn’t play that shit, which reaffirmed Jen’s personal beliefs that God doesn’t exist. It’s quite awkward for everyone involved and plays out like you’re watching a car crash.
When she’s done, the place is silent. As she goes to sit down, Grams, who looks fucking furious, storms out before Jen gets to her seat.
Having her daughter’s character publicly raped in front of 100 or so people, Abby’s mom desperately looks to Andi, who decides to take to the podium. Andi was moved by Jen’s overall bitchiness, and decides to go a little easier on Abby, giving this sort of nice speech about how she enjoys being challenged by people, and Abby was a challenging person who made Andi work to build herself up and find her inner strength. Sure, whatever. Anyway, Abby’s mom seems moved by the speech.
Naturally, we’re treated to a slo-mo, 90s rock-addled montage of Abby being put six feet under, with everyone putting flowers on her grave and crying and stuff. Jen, for whatever reason, seems exceptionally moved by the ceremony.
Being a creep, Dawson tells Joey that he’s been watching the footage he shot of Abby, which made him realize how short life is. He’s just super happy about what happened at the wedding and isn’t sure that Joey feels the same way. She does, which she illustrates by kissing him right there, in the middle of a cemetery. She asks him to take her somewhere.
Pacey is super impressed by how well Andi handled the eulogy. Andi tells him that the eulogy was therapeutic for her and made her feel better about Tim’s death.
Following her revelation about how she needed to address death directly, she spots Jen sitting by herself by Abby’s grave. She’s absolutely mortified by what just took place in the church and apologizes to Andi for accusing her of killing Abby. Apparently she’s sobered up enough to figure out that she had a role in Abby’s death (duh) and that she’s been a giant bitch to everyone. Andi accepts her apology and tells Jen that she’s proud of her, because her speech was truthful about Abby’s spirit, whereas hers was kind of phony. More like phoned in, but whatever. Jen feels so awful about letting Abby die and Andi tries to make her feel better by mentioning the diary and how horrible everything written in it was. Yeah, tell her that her dead friend thought she was a giant whore. That will make her feel better.
The place Joey wanted Dawson to take her was her mom’s grave. She kneels and starts crying, while Dawson kind of stands there awkwardly. She gets back up and tells Dawson that she hopes her mom is happy wherever she is, and Dawson assures her that she is. Joey can heal now too!
So Jen gets back to Grams’ and finds all her shit packed and sitting on the porch. Grams is fucking PISSED, you guys! She’s never been more hurt by Jen, who continually goes out of her way to spite and hurt Grams. She’s constantly asking for understanding from Grams, but is never willing to show any understanding for Grams, and she’s fucking had it. It’s a totally fair point, in my opinion. How many times can your granddaughter get double-teamed by drunken frat bros against your wishes before you’d snap, huh? So Grams is kicking her the fuck out, despite the fact that she loves her and it will kill her inside. She shuts the door on a protesting Jen’s face.
Andi, not fully done being a super creep, returns to Abby’s to steal her diary so that her mom never finds it and sees Jen’s speech validated. As she looks up, she sees Abby in the mirror behind her, but there’s totally no one there! Creepy! Oh man, I hope this show takes a turn for the supernatural and Andi becomes possessed by the spirit of Abby. That would be incredible!
3.5 out of 5 Crying Dawsons