Season 1, Episode 13: Decisions

Season finale.  Holy shit.

This episode was hilarious.  Not in a “haha” kind of way, but in a “you’re-trying-so-hard to-get-emotions-out-of-me-and-it’s-not-working” way.  I believe the word that Joey would use is “cloying”.

Anywho, we open with Joey surprising Dawson by coming over.  She surprised him so badly that he doesn’t even have any movies for them to watch!  He suggests that they watch TV instead, and we get this super meta conversation about how TV is predictable and mundane, what with cliffhangers for season finales and all.  They’re trying so fucking hard to be cute, given that this is a season finale.  Joey, not realizing that she went over to Dawson’s and therefore should take whatever kind of entertainment he has to offer, decides to stay, but says that she’s not impressed with his choice of TV as a timewaster.

1

Grams is talking shit on Jen to Gramps’ still-lifeless body without realizing that Jen is right behind her.  She’s really happy that her and that heathen, Dawson, broke it off.  Jen asks how he’s doing, and Grams says he’s still a vegetable, just like he’s been in the other 12 episodes.  As Jen goes to leave, Gramps says goodbye to her and everyone gets really happy!

Jen is ecstatic, you guys!  She tells Dawson how relieved she feels that Gramps could rouse himself to say a single word, and she wants to have some fun with him that night.  Dawson, not Gramps.  That probably wouldn’t end well.  Dawson can’t commit because he has plans with Joey, who happens to swing by at that exact moment bitching about how she needs a passport.  She’s been offered the chance to take a class in Paris because another girl backed out, and will have to leave in two weeks.  So.  Many.  Questions.

1.  Ummmm, what?

2.  How’s she going to get her passport in two weeks?  Even by 1998 standards, I highly doubt you could get a fucking passport in two weeks.

3.  Again…what?

4.  How’s she going to pay for it?  Paris, and Europe in general, are fucking expensive.

5.  What kind of high school offers to let a 15 year old take a class in a foreign country by themselves?  That seems super irresponsible.

6.  Was this just some terrible grasp at plot development to give our protagonists a reason to agonize about the potential loss of one another?

Probably.

2

Joey has no idea what to do in regards to going to Paris, and is talking it out with Bessie when Bessie reminds her that it’s her turn to visit their dad in prison for his birthday, because that’s a weird tradition.  Apparently they switch off every year.  Joey says “fuck that noise, dude’s an asshole”, but Bessie manages to guilt her into going anyway.

Dougie almost runs Pacey over in his cop car, because their dad is really pissed that Pacey failed all his midterms.  I guess their dad doesn’t want any failures in their family or something and thinks midterms are a reflection on where Pacey is going with his life.  Pacey doesn’t really seem to give a fuck, and Dougie drops some knowledge on him by telling him that if he doesn’t shape up, he’ll be the biggest loser in The Creek forever.

3

Dawson goes with Joey to visit her dad, who sounds like a great guy.  Cheating on a cancer stricken wife while selling drugs.  In the midst of these details, he tells her that he’ll kill himself if she leaves.  Get a fucking grip, Dawson.  She feels my same sense of desperation emanating from him, and he says that he’ll be happy for her.  An incredibly sarcastic corrections officer informs them that visiting hours ended at 5:00, so they can’t see her dad.  Joey tells Dawson there’s no way she’s spending four hours (four hours!?) on a bus to visit her lowlife, piece-of-shit father another day, so he comes up with a better idea.

They get a hotel room!  How they’re able to do so is beyond me, but whatever.  Dawson gets all excited about the prospect of the two of them sleeping in a foreign bed together (no, seriously), and Joey asks him why he’s making such a big deal out of it.  He doesn’t really have an answer for her, but tells her that he’s been thinking about her/them a lot lately.  The problem is that he doesn’t know how to get her.  She calls him a pussy and rolls over to go to sleep.

4

Now that Gramps is doing better, they take him back to the hospital, because that’s how real life works.  Grams tells Jen that it’s all because of prayer, and Jen tells Grams to get that shit out of here because prayer is for the birds.

Dawson wants to bail on Joey at the prison and she calls him a pussy again.  He decides to stick around.  Joey’s dad shows up and she’s incredibly frigid to him, as per ushe.  It’s unfortunate, because he seems genuinely interested in her and her life, and she’s really laying on the bitch.  She tells him that she’s going to France and will probably never see him again and storms out because he broke up their family.  As Dawson goes to leave, Mr. Potter asks him to fill him in on what’s going on in her life and we’re treated to about 90 seconds of Dawson gushing over her like a schoolgirl, in case we weren’t convinced that he had a thing for her.

5

Back in The Creek, Joey asks why Dawson is being a fucking weirdo, and he tells her that she needs to deal with her dad.  Maybe try therapy or something, Joey.  She tells him that she hates his guts and can never forgive him, and Dawson tells her that if she doesn’t change her attitude, Mr. Potter will control her forever.  She informs Dawson that it will be impossible to control her if she’s in Paris, and that she’s going unless Dawson can give her a reason to stay.  He responds with silence because fuck this show.

Over a quick scene in the hospital, we learn that Gramps had another stroke.  Jen’s all “Where’s your God now, dumbass!?”, and Grams tells her that everything happens for a reason.  This leads Jen to shit on the poor old woman’s beliefs yet again.

6

Pacey swings by the diner to bug Joey, who is naturally a giant bitch to him.  He wants to know when he became a huge loser, and Joey, still unable to think of anyone but herself, makes the conversation all about herself.  What a great friend.  Pacey tells her a story about howhe overheard his dad saying how much he preferred Dougie over him when he was younger, which actually kind of puts everything into perspective in regards to Pacey.  Joey tells him that he should probably talk to his dad about this shit, having a moment of clarity when she realizes she needs to do the same.  Despite the fact that it’s clearly nighttime, meaning that the 5:00 visiting hours rule is in effect, and it’s a four hour drive to the prison, she decides then-and-there that she needs to go see her dad.

7

Because of said 5:00 curfew, smarmy corrections officer won’t let them in to visit Mr. Potter.  Pacey, sly devil that he is, pays the guy $20 to change his tune.  I realize this was 1998, when gas was like $1.23, but $20 is bullshit to risk losing your job over.

Jen climbs in through Dawson’s window to visit.  Hang on, he still has the ladder leading into his window?  Did they not learn anything from the breach of security that almost led to Pacey’s strangulation two episodes ago?  She tells him that she misses him and asks if she can stay over for the night, like Joey does.  He agrees, albeit awkwardly.  What is wrong with everyone on this show?  Like, why can’t they just come right out and communicate their feelings in four syllable words?  Again, we get a scene that’s supposed to be tender, what with Jen crying about the futility of Gramps’ situation, but I legitimately laughed out loud.

8

Oh, this fucking scene!  Joey confronts her dad and tells him that he’s a piece of shit that blew it with her.  She just needs some closure and tells him to take a good look at her, because she’s doing alright without him, despite the whole daddy issues, showing-up-at-prison-at-11:00-at-night thing.  She asks him if he ever loved her, and he starts crying and apologizes for so clearly mentally and emotionally fucking her up so badly.  Of course he loves her!  They start playing an emotional game of 20 Questions where Joey says that she doesn’t think that anyone loves her, and Mr. Potter tells her that can’t be true, because Dawson obviously has a thing for her that everyone keeps downplaying.  He tells her that she’s full of shit if she doesn’t want his hockey-haired ass and that she needs to go get him.  Arms of the Angel comes on and I’m totally taken out of the scene because I start thinking about abused dogs and stifling the urge to hurl my remote at the TV.

9

10

Jen really did spend the night, which means that Grams is totally going to die of a massive coronary.  Joey decides that her dad is an okay dude and can probably dispense good advice and goes over to Dawson’s.  As she climbs in through the window, she sees Jen in bed with Dawson, making a move to kiss him.  She bolts, and Dawson gets all huffy and tries to stop her.  Jen’s all “Dude, I’m trying to s your d, what gives!?” and Dawson tells her that he’s not sure where he’s at with Joey, but she at least deserves to know that he’s not banging Jen.

We get some shots over music of Dawson and Joey playing a game of cat and mouse, with him always one step behind her, and another laugh-out-loud scene where Jen gets a phone call informing her that Gramps has died.  Him dying isn’t LOL hilarious, but her hollow, emotionless way of breaking the news to Grams is.  More shots of Joey being one step ahead of Dawson.

13

11

Somehow, Jen manages to walk into Grams’ church without bursting into flames or being struck down by lightning.  Because of acting, we can tell that she’s incredibly uncomfortable being in the House of the Lord.  She decides that maybe prayer isn’t for the birds after all, and piggybacks off of Grams’.  Maybe she does have faith after all!  They’re both super sad and cry.

After a long day of eluding Dawson, it turns out that Joey is hanging out in his closet.  She asks him what the big fucking deal is, despite the fact that she’s the one that freaked the fuck out and took off.  She tells him that they need to grow up and act like adults so that they can at least match their vocabulary.  He asks her if she’s going to France and she asks him why she should stay.  I seriously don’t get it.  It would be for like one goddamn semester.  She’s not buying property, so why is everyone acting like she’s picked out a burial plot there?  Dawson tells her that he can totally grow up, he swears, and she tells him that she just wants him to be honest with her.  When that request i’s met with silence, she decides that she should probably leave.  As she does so, Dawson swings in and kisses her!  Hooray!

12

Season One is done.  I can’t fucking believe it.  Rather than rolling right into Season Two, I’m going to do a little thought and reflection for my entry next week.  I know, I’m as shocked as you that I’m going to punish myself and wait an extra week to find out of those two kids turn out alright.

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